“Last year things suddenly changed. Choices were made. Choices that hurt. Choices that left us hundreds of miles apart. Choices that felt very similar to the pain of my own divorce.”
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I don’t know why he doesn’t feel permission to emote when big things happen, but I know it’s my job as his parent to guide him to a healthy, safe place where he can sort it all out… and shaming him for having emotions won’t get the job done. I realized I needed to give him some tools to help get him out of the pit he was in. I was grasping at a way to gain access to this kid who I sometimes struggle to understand.
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It’s my birth month and it may have started a tad rough. I kind of felt like I was getting shoved out of my 30s — like an unwanted guest who had stayed too long. I hate to admit it, but somewhere along the way I bought into the lie that if I wasn’t married by 40 then it would be exponentially harder to find a mate. I was feeling like my value as a person was depreciating simply because I’m approaching 40 and I’m not married yet. Who decided being single in your 40s is the absolute most pathetic thing ever? I didn’t realize it, but I bought into this stigma, too! But not anymore.
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The impossible desire of my heart is to find love again. It's ok to feel like it's impossible. That's how I'll know it’s the Lord when it does happen. It seems bigger than I can fathom and I wouldn't want it any other way.
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Before he went out to face the giant David recognized the very thing meant to protect him was the very thing hindering him and weighing him down. So he took off the ill-fitting suit and went to the battlefield looking very much like himself.
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In honor of Valentine’s Day and single adults ‘round the world: let us celebrate and laugh over the ridiculous conversations we’ve endured in our season of solitude. Admittedly, I would love to be taken out for dinner on the most romantic Thursday of 2019. But seeing as we are just days away from V-day and there are no suitors in sight I’ll choose to entertain myself and YOU with some of the oddest conversations I’ve experienced to date.
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God doesn’t fault us for having limits, and He doesn’t expect us to be limitless. He doesn’t say, “You shouldn’t have a limit in this area of your life.”
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The enemy of my soul was trying to sell me on the idea I was stuck in a cycle… and I almost bought it. In a twisted way, my hopelessness made me feel like my issue fell under special circumstances. We do this all the time. We take our problems and explain to God why He can’t fix them.
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After my divorce, I was told by well-meaning friends and family, “You’re going to have men beating down your door to date you.” LIES!!! This has absolutely not been my experience. Not that I would even want this to happen anyway. Honestly, that sounds like a lot of drama and stress.
Over the past three years my dating life has consisted of one confusing night out. (ONE!)
[Insert cricket noises here]
Enter: “The Story”
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I was recently sitting in a meeting at work and as things were winding down everyone was asked about their plans for the upcoming holiday. Some were hosting family, others were going out of town, some were even making several stops in one day (like Jay and I used to do). Then it was my turn. I opened my mouth to reply, but my throat clenched shut and tears welled up in my eyes. I knew I was sad, but I didn’t realize how sad until that moment. Three years ago I said goodbye to holidays with my in-laws and pumpkin pie for breakfast. This year, I say goodbye to a Boston accent, hilarious stories told from across the pond, and the smell of my mom’s famous sourdough rolls. Every few years our Thanksgiving table gets smaller and smaller. I didn’t realize how much I was still grieving the loss of these traditions until I was sitting in a meeting trying to choke back tears.
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