Each starling adds to the beauty of a murmuration... in the same way, each story adds to the beauty of our life. Here are my stories.
I don’t know why he doesn’t feel permission to emote when big things happen, but I know it’s my job as his parent to guide him to a healthy, safe place where he can sort it all out… and shaming him for having emotions won’t get the job done. I realized I needed to give him some tools to help get him out of the pit he was in. I was grasping at a way to gain access to this kid who I sometimes struggle to understand.
Read MoreIt’s my birth month and it may have started a tad rough. I kind of felt like I was getting shoved out of my 30s — like an unwanted guest who had stayed too long. I hate to admit it, but somewhere along the way I bought into the lie that if I wasn’t married by 40 then it would be exponentially harder to find a mate. I was feeling like my value as a person was depreciating simply because I’m approaching 40 and I’m not married yet. Who decided being single in your 40s is the absolute most pathetic thing ever? I didn’t realize it, but I bought into this stigma, too! But not anymore.
Read MoreMy heart is a deceptive, selfish little thing… especially when it’s hurting. My heart strings were being tugged and pulled to the point of becoming untethered and I felt like I was being cut off from someone I loved.
Read MoreI never thought I'd be standing in my house — holding fruit from my ex-husband's girlfriend — wondering if I should freeze it and fast-pitch it through the window of Jay's car or make some bomb lemonade from it. I had a strong urge to do one of those two activities and I can honestly say I wasn’t in the mood for lemonade.
Read MoreNo one ever talks about what you’re supposed to do with the good memories you still have after being severely betrayed. My marriage wasn’t horrible. We had a lot of really great times together. The only thing tainting these memories is the sense of complete loss. It mostly happens when I’m driving — I’ll pass a place where Jay and I have been: a place I once had a fond memory of. Then it happens, I’m abruptly hit in the face with a singular thought: “Something I loved died here.”
Read MoreThat's the problem with collecting... you soon run out of space and you're left holding weighty things you were never meant to hold onto in the first place.
Read More"It was time to put on the boxing gloves, but not for him. I had to fight for me. This wasn't a selfish battle, though. I was going to war with my feelings. I had a fight ahead of me and it was a brutal one.”
Read MoreJay was undeniably familiar, and yet, he wouldn’t be familiar to me ever again. Which led to another question: Would I ever get to experience the comfort and familiarity of a man again? It’s strange to belong to someone for so long and then, suddenly, belong to no one.
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