Posts tagged web journal
My Approach to 40

It’s my birth month and it may have started a tad rough. I kind of felt like I was getting shoved out of my 30s — like an unwanted guest who had stayed too long. I hate to admit it, but somewhere along the way I bought into the lie that if I wasn’t married by 40 then it would be exponentially harder to find a mate. I was feeling like my value as a person was depreciating simply because I’m approaching 40 and I’m not married yet. Who decided being single in your 40s is the absolute most pathetic thing ever? I didn’t realize it, but I bought into this stigma, too! But not anymore.

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The Sourest of Lemons

I never thought I'd be standing in my house — holding fruit from my ex-husband's girlfriend — wondering if I should freeze it and fast-pitch it through the window of Jay's car or make some bomb lemonade from it. I had a strong urge to do one of those two activities and I can honestly say I wasn’t in the mood for lemonade.

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Roadside Memorials

No one ever talks about what you’re supposed to do with the good memories you still have after being severely betrayed. My marriage wasn’t horrible. We had a lot of really great times together. The only thing tainting these memories is the sense of complete loss. It mostly happens when I’m driving — I’ll pass a place where Jay and I have been: a place I once had a fond memory of. Then it happens, I’m abruptly hit in the face with a singular thought: “Something I loved died here.”

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Soar

That's the problem with collecting... you soon run out of space and you're left holding weighty things you were never meant to hold onto in the first place.

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A Basket Full of Grace

“I can’t buy into the philosophy of self-care, and here’s why: We aren't entitled to grace; it isn't owed to us. It's a free gift. I believe God is who cares for us.”

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The Fight

"It was time to put on the boxing gloves, but not for him. I had to fight for me. This wasn't a selfish battle, though. I was going to war with my feelings. I had a fight ahead of me and it was a brutal one.”

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