My Approach to 40

It’s my birth month and it may have started a tad rough. I kind of felt like I was getting shoved out of my 30s — like an unwanted guest who had stayed too long. I hate to admit it, but somewhere along the way I bought into the lie that if I wasn’t married by 40 then it would be exponentially harder to find a mate. I was feeling like my value as a person was depreciating simply because I’m approaching 40 and I’m not married yet. Who decided being single in your 40s is the absolute most pathetic thing ever? I didn’t realize it, but I bought into this stigma, too! But not anymore.

Elise CorinneApril 30, 2019starling stories, my darling starling, starling of the day, life after divorce, this is 40, see you soon 40, depreciation, depreciating with age, external processor, enneagram 2, enneagram 4, enneagram, enneagram nerd, healing, healing in process, emotional pain, emotional baggage, emotions, emotional scars, emotional healing, single, singleness, single mom, single parent, single dad, single and parenting, single parent dating, Christian Dating, Christian writer, Christian single parent, christian single mom, divorce, divorce blog, dating, dating life, Dating after divorce, dating woes, dating in your 20s, dating in your 30s, dating in your 40s, Online Dating, online journal, web journal, second act, Jennifer Lopez, 2nd act, the second act, facebook memories, fb memories, stigma, stigmas of being sinlge, dating profile, refined with age, aging, antiaging, anti aging, comfortable in your own skin, pity statement, this is 39, half life, half-life, finding someone, finding love, finding romance, finding a husband, approaching 40, approaching 50, approaching 30, blogger, blogger babe, boss babe, thrive loves bloggers, bloggers, christian blogger, christian divorce, My Approach to 40, my approach to 40

Borrowed Armor

Before he went out to face the giant David recognized the very thing meant to protect him was the very thing hindering him and weighing him down. So he took off the ill-fitting suit and went to the battlefield looking very much like himself.

Tethered

My heart is a deceptive, selfish little thing… especially when it’s hurting. My heart strings were being tugged and pulled to the point of becoming untethered and I felt like I was being cut off from someone I loved.

The Sourest of Lemons

I never thought I'd be standing in my house — holding fruit from my ex-husband's girlfriend — wondering if I should freeze it and fast-pitch it through the window of Jay's car or make some bomb lemonade from it. I had a strong urge to do one of those two activities and I can honestly say I wasn’t in the mood for lemonade.

Elise CorinneOctober 15, 2018This Is Us, starling, starling stories, starling of the day, story time, Starling Stories, starling story, lemons, lemonade, lavender, lavender lemonade, sparkling lemonade, sparkling lavender lemonade, bitter, bitterness, fast pitch, consequences, blog, betrayed, Blog, baggage, betrayal, web journal, cheated, cheating, christian divorce, christian, Christian divorce, Christian, christian single mom, Christian single parent, cheating husband, my spouse cheated, my husband cheated, my husband cheated now what, my darling starling, darling starling, my husband left, remind my soul, divorce, divorce stories, adultery, godly single mom, godly perspective, what does God say about divorce, she left, he left, healing, healthy emotions, healing in process, emotional pain, emotional baggage, emotions, emotional scars, emotional healing, memories, kids of divorce, girlfriend, when your ex gets a girlfriend, the sourest of lemons, when life hands you lemons, when life gives you lemons, Dr. K

Roadside Memorials

No one ever talks about what you’re supposed to do with the good memories you still have after being severely betrayed. My marriage wasn’t horrible. We had a lot of really great times together. The only thing tainting these memories is the sense of complete loss. It mostly happens when I’m driving — I’ll pass a place where Jay and I have been: a place I once had a fond memory of. Then it happens, I’m abruptly hit in the face with a singular thought: “Something I loved died here.”

Elise CorinneOctober 4, 2018blog, journal, web journal, online journal, starling story, starling stories, story time, divorce stories, divorce, roadside, roadside memorials, memorials, memories, fond memories, forgiving, unforgiving, moving forward, moving forward after divorce, life after divorce, tough ol' bird, tough old bird, get back up, emotions, emotional pain, emotional scars, emotional baggage, emotional healing, marriage, my darling starling, my husband left, my husband cheated, my husband cheated now what, my spouse cheated, infidelity, adultery, moving on, avoidance, confrontation, confronting your feelings, confronting your thoughts, cross, christian divorce, single, singleness, single and parenting, single parent, single mom, single dad, betrayal, betrayed, belong, you belong, memory, hurtful memories, painful memories, healing, healing in process, healthy emotions

Soar

That's the problem with collecting... you soon run out of space and you're left holding weighty things you were never meant to hold onto in the first place.

The Fight

"It was time to put on the boxing gloves, but not for him. I had to fight for me. This wasn't a selfish battle, though. I was going to war with my feelings. I had a fight ahead of me and it was a brutal one.”

Companionship

Jay was undeniably familiar, and yet, he wouldn’t be familiar to me ever again. Which led to another question: Would I ever get to experience the comfort and familiarity of a man again? It’s strange to belong to someone for so long and then, suddenly, belong to no one.