When Starlings Fall in Love — Part 1

I pretty much tried to hide under my desk when I realized how long it’s been since I’ve posted a story for you guys. I’ve got so much to catch you guys up on. Buckle up because we are about to go on a ride! 

I’ve been a busy little birdie — that’s for sure. Busy falling in love. Busy cultivating a relationship with Josh. Busy listening for God’s voice in this new chapter. Busy learning who Josh is. Busy learning who I am. (That’s probably been the biggest surprise: realizing how different I am now.)

Part of me feels the need to ease y’all into this new chapter, because (for Josh and me) this has unfolded over 8 months. But for most of you guys, this is all happening RIGHT NOW! 

So let me back up and tell you how we met: 

Josh’s sister, Clarissa, and I were friends when we were young (13 & 15). We reconnected on social media decades later and casually kept in touch through commenting on each other’s posts. In the middle of August 2019, I got a message from her. She asked how I was doing and got me caught up on her family life. She mentioned to me how she has followed my journey through divorce and even reads my stories! (I’m always so encouraged when y’all tell me you’re reading what I write.) Then she started telling me about her brother Josh. 

Now, I’ve had other well-intended friends try to tell me about a guy before and it’s never ended well. (I've even jokingly told some of these friends they're fired from finding me a husband.) But I respect this Jesus-loving, life-speaking friend. So I listened. 

And then I asked the questions I always ask. (See my last post here.)

And then, to my surprise, she sufficiently answered all of my questions. 

Which left me with no excuse to say, “No thanks.”

And then I prayed. 

God’s response was simple: “Make time for him.”

With some apprehension, I messaged her back the next day and gave her permission to give Josh my number. He actually texted me a few hours later and asked if I would be comfortable with a phone conversation that evening. He was casual and polite and used complete sentences. I nervously (but excitedly) agreed. He called right at 8pm on August 19th and we had a fantastic first conversation.

We talked every night for 2 weeks before our first date (a date that lasted 6 hours!). We were having such a good time getting to know each other. Conversations weren't forced and they were always laced with Jesus. I remember the most encouraging moment that brought peace to my soul was when we were getting off the phone one evening. He asked if he could pray for me and I'm pretty sure I melted. I sat on the receiving end of the phone and the receiving end of a prayer from a man who gently, yet unashamedly, leads. His conversation with me seamlessly transitioned into his conversation with Jesus about me. 

Our first date & first time meeting in person. I caught him off guard with this photo.

Talk about peace! I had the privilege of hearing this man's heart for his Father. Hot tip: If you're curious about where a person is in their spiritual walk — listen to their prayers. It doesn't have to be fancy or eloquent, but it does need to be honest and heartfelt. I wish people could put that on a dating profile!

I have TONS to share with you about how Josh and I approached getting to know each other, dating, introducing the kids, and even the physical side of our relationship, but that's another post for another day. The things you need to know now is we did it — we dated, fell in love, struggled through a crisis or two, sought the Lord individually and together, laughed, worshiped together, disagreed, talked about the hard stuff, did projects together, spent time with each other's families... and we still want more of each other. We believe God has more for us married than He has for us apart. We believe God is creating a team out of the two of us. We can see His hand guiding us to each other and we are both confident we've heard the voice of God.

After 8 months of dating, on my 40th birthday — in the exact spot of our 2nd date — in the middle of a pandemic — Josh pulled me away from his rapidly beating chest, bent down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. I'm almost certain I was a lady and let him finish the question before I exuberantly replied with the most confident "Yes" that's ever left my lips.

Part 2 of this story is where things get juicy. Don't worry, though! It's already written and I'll release it in the next few days so you can be all caught up. (Click here for Part 2!)